false jealousy

feel the pain,
feel the agony,
feel the despair...

as i watch my world crumble,
as i watch my world die...

see me wander,
see me fall,
see my imagination fly...

to the things i am not even entitled to,
to the feelings i dont have the right to feel...

pathetic, as it may seem
i am consumed by these fears...

drowned by insecurities,
drowned by lack of assurances...

alone again ,
as i swim into this sea of false jealousy....

keep burning

my lips are tied to what i feel
my heart is already numb of waiting..

thoughts of you keeps me hoping
your laughter and smile fuels this heart on beating..

restless , as it has always been
committed to pursue an impossible dream

you often speak of complexities
that, in this legal world, it just cant happen

i often fear  unhappy ending
unrequited feelings of love and longing

but i believe in simplicity of love an feelings.
i believe that all is possible, if we just stand for it

it may be a dusty ride full of challenges
hold my hand, we will make it through....

this is what i believe,this is what i feel.
no matter what they say, 

no matter what you'll say...

i will continue loving, will continue caring...

i will continue wanting, will continue needing...
i will continue trying, even if it means more and more crying...

i will continue waiting  as long as i am breathing...

for you, only you , will i keep this love burning...

one look

one look

... and you mesmerized my eyes

one smile

... and i was so damn high

all my thoughts are lost
blown into pieces
words just cant describe

the beauty of you..

buti pa siya

datiy sobrang saya..
walang isniisip, walang inaalala..
ok na basta nandyan ka.
sana, di na nag iba..

umalis, dumating..
oras ay nahimbing..
araw dumaan,
panahon lumipas din..

akala'y walang magbabago..
ngunit panaginip lang pala..
natakot, nangamba, buhay nag iba..
parang malamig na tubig,
dumapo sa aking daigdig..
dumating lang siya..

mga sagot mo ay di na mawari pa..
minsan prang wala na nga..
puro iwas na lang ba ang matatamasa?
buti pa sya siguro sobrang saya..

dati'y ok na, online ka sa umaga,
pahirapan magrequest pag gabi na..
datiy walang buhay ang aking araw,
dahil sa panig mo, tulog ka ..
nangarap na sana makausap ka
pag wala ka na sa opisina..
ngunit nasawi, akin naman kinaya..
ok lang masaya, naintindihan kita..

ngayon iba na..
dumating sya, bigla bigla
may broadband na pala..
mapaaraw at gabi online/offline na..
ok na sana at masaya, 
syempre ung pangarap ko sa buhay 
sa wakas natupad na..
pero ang lahat pla ay pra sa kanya..
naambunan lang ako ng katiting na grasya..
buti pa sya..

mahal naman kita ng sobra sobra..
ginagawa ko naman lahat ng aking makakaya..
muli't muli, kulang pa pala..
ano kaya meron sya?

tagal kong naghintay at umasa
maglalaho na ba bigla?
nararamdamang inalagaan san kaya mapupunta?

ilang araw na nakalipas..
napuyat na at lahat lahat..
sinubukang intindihin..
sinubukang limutin..
kahit ano aking gawin, sumasakit pag naaalala..
mga katanungang walang sagot..
mga bagay na nagpapakirot..

sana di na nag iba..
sana naging ako na lang sya....

online, offline

online , offline
hanggang kailan

naghintay, inantay
hanggang nawala na lang
ewan

kung noon pa iniwasan
kung noon pa lumayo

di na sana umasa
di na sana nasasaktan

online , offline
taguan na lang....

sana

napakaikli parang kailan lang
napakabilis , nakakapanghinayang

pagkatapos nito ay muling lulumbay
muling didilim
mulit muliy iisipin bakit ngayon pa..

sana'y matagal pa 
sana'y tumigil ang oras
sana'y wala pang paalam
sana .... sana.....

kung kelan alam ko na
sagot sa mga tanong na iba iba
ngayon mawawala ka

kung kailan nagising at naghanap
kung kailan nasilayan at natuwa
kung kailan naging masaya at lumiwanag
kung kailan napalapit ka na.....

sana bukas...
nandiyan pa...
at di na mawawala..

faded , wasted and gone

why do i have to pretend i am alright when i am not?
why do i always smile when i am down?
why do i always have to say that i am fine?

do i have to say what i really feel to be alive?
or do i have to hide myself to keep breathing?

here i am , shattered by what i cant not say.
here i am , lost in the mist i chose to create

i wanted to ,
i am dying to ,
i wish i could,
i hope i would,

but what if i did?
will it be passed on as it always does?

sometimes words are better kept unspoken
when no one else will seem to believe
just thoughts,
going down to the memory lane

faded , wasted and gone.......

closer

stumbled yet alive
breathing as the earth moves around

i watch , i suffer
i blink , i die

fear of being one of the many
as i wave goodbye to reality

i succumbed then fall
as i watch the other side of life

drawing clearer to ...
drawing closer to...

being the finality of what it should be

evenings and late nights

forget the warmth of the day,
the scorching heat of the midday sun,
or the deafening sound of the day it was..

as the dusk blankets the sky
and the weary sun shines its last rays for the day
darkness will fall for my heart..

i hate evenings and late nights
anxiety starts at the strike of the clock
for i know deep in the pale lights of the streets
the evening calls are just about to start

on these chilli nights i wait
patiently with heart pounding to the beat
i lay silent and restrained 

hope it ends soon
hope itll never happen again
these are the nights when i bleed
these are the nights.....

cause when your converstation starts
...i feel that your at the farthest from my heart

as beautiful as you

spirits fly above the rainbows of life
shimmering light brighter than sun rays of a beautiful day

happy thoughts lingering in an unusually smiling face
laughter from an undending joyous spell

must have been something interesting
that made this life more than worth living

must have been that someone
must have been that special someone
who made me smile and ready to start again
who made me feel that there is indeed a better day

life is worth all the risk and pain
if someone as beautiful as you
is what my unending journey has to gain.....

soon

for yesterdays gone
and all I wait is tomorrow..
through distance and time 
i did not falter..

never forgot the look in her eyes,
the smile in her lips,
and the laughter in her face,

because as fast as time flies
the distance will fade

soon...

after few mornings and nights...
i will be right where i supposed to be..

where my sun shines during my day
where her smiles are just within my sight..

few more sleep, few more wait
again, ill be by her side .....

balisa

nagiisip, nagtatanong

anong bago?, anong meron?

nagaalala, natatakot
baka maglaho, baka mawala

palakas ng palakas
nais kumawala
bakit nga ba?

ayaw man aminin
di maikukubli
nais man kalimutan
kusang bumabalik na lang

may kailangan bang ipangamba?
kailangan bang matakot?
o kalimutan na lang...

tuliro, gising
katanungan ay nasa hangin..

may sagot bang naghihintay?
o mabibigla na lang
pag nangyari na ang kinatatakutan...